Come on the Go!

I love dressing up in heels and hose and going dancing. The problem is, my legs don't love it the next day. After dancing for hours in too-small shoes (yes, I know), I found myself limping the next morning . Literally limping. Not very sexy. Not very fun.

I called the concierge first thing and scheduled a spa appointment. Kudos to the Fairmont San Jose for getting me in within 3 hours. - that was great. I walked through the gym and sat in a nondescript waiting area where the only magazine was one promoting Fairmont properties (yawn.) Right on time, my massage therapist took me back. She led. I limped.

Damn, I wish it could have been better. The room setup was nice, but Juanita (the massage therapist) seemed rushed. Although she was hitting all the right places, she was hitting them fast - like if she massaged me faster, it would be over faster. Granted, she did work the kinks out and I was free to play air guitar another day (don't ask), but the whole vibe just felt rushed...

The true "what WERE they thinking" moment was when she led me back to the women's locker room. I asked her about using the sauna and getting a locker. Turns out, I could have a locker - but she didn't give me a key! I could have gotten a key, but that would have entailed getting dressed, walking through the gym and going to the front desk. The moment was gone. I just didn't bother.

Would I go again? No. Sure, it's easy to just bop downstairs and get rubbed. But I bet I could pay less money for a better massage (and get a locker with an actual KEY!).

The latest TSA travel regulations do more than just prevent us from bringing on bottled water and hand lotion (oh, we must look soooo dehydrated when we step off planes!). Now, Toys in Babeland, the famous women-friendly toy shop, has advice about traveling with toys. This includes:

"All electronic devices are now required to be removed from carry on baggage and placed in separate trays before screening. This means that while technically you still can bring your vibrator on the plane with you, you’re expected to take it out and put it in full view in one of those plastic bins before it goes through the X-ray machine. "

(Goodness, can you imagine watching the Rabbit go through the security belt. Probably about the time that you had an entire children's church group behind you. Argh. "Mommy, what's THAT....? Double argh.)

Not to mention....

"If you have any sort of lube or sex lotion in your carry on, you’ll be subject to having it publicly confiscated. You probably want to be spared the humiliation of having an air screener waving around a bottle of your Banana-Flavored Juicy Lube while your fellow passengers crane their necks to see what’s causing the delay."

Ooh. But would it help you get dates on the plane? Imagine the pick-up line possibilities. "I see you're using banana-flavored. I'm a strawberry girl, myself...."

I was finally able to go to lunch after three hours of back to back conference calls. As I'm reading the Seattle Weekly (I'll miss that rag when I move to Portland), the man next to me says, "So, how you doing?"

Dammit, dammit, dammit. All I wanted to do is read my paper and not talk. But I'm nice (mistake #1) say, "Good, thanks" and immediately go back to reading. Not rude, but I wasn't engaging - you know? Normal guys would figure that I was into my paper and not in the mood to chat.

Then I hear, "Don't I know you from somewhere?" Dammit!

I take a deep breath, look up and say, "Nope, don't think so. Sorry.." And immediately look down at my paper.

He's got that look now - that look that screams, "Wow, she's talking to me. She's really really talking to me." Again, I don't want to be a major bitch with the guy. But I wasn't interested and I wanted to read.

Then I hear, "You know, I'm in a band" and starts to talk about touring.

ARGH, that's it. OK, first, I love dating musicians. They are fun and wild and creative and a tad dangerous (at least the ones I like.) They are also bad for me. Very bad. If I hear "musician" I worrry - no matter how much I love them.

But I'm not going to give a guy any play who's main come-on line is "I'm in a band." Come ON! Maybe that works when you're 18, but this guy was in his late 40s. Old enough to know better. Old enough to never, ever use that line.

Five minutes after I escaped to my car, my ex called. I mentioned the "I'm in a band" line and had a good laugh - my ex really is a world-class musician, and he knows how that line would do nothing but backfire.

Dear band dude: Next time (1) catch a clue when the woman isn't interested and (2) don't figure that being in a band is gonna get you chicks.

Dumbass.

Entries have been a little light over the past week. I'm finally moving - which means that my home airport will be PDX instead of SEA. PDX is actually a nice little airport. It's not as slick as SeaTac (especially now with the Pacific Marketplace.) But it is a cool little place to hang out. And it will be 30 minutes away, tops. Not 2+ hours. I can finally sleep in - yay!

But, darn it, I won't be able to check in, say hi to folks who know me, and say, "Any upgrades left for me?" It's like starting from scratch...

I don't think PDX has an Admiral's Club, which kinda sucks. Having that escape from the crowds is such a blessing during major travel days. Then again, SeaTac closed their brand spanking new Admiral's Club earlier this year. And they wonder why I haven't renewed my membership with them.....

Sure, "hiring a driver" sounds like a huge indulgence. It seems so much easier to queue up to take a taxi and stand around with everyone else. The thing is, getting into taxis has always made me a bit nervous. On one hand, I've had some of my most fun travel conversations with taxi drivers. On the other hand, some have seriously creeped me out. It's that feeling of getting in a strange car - and nobody knows where you are.

So, *especially* when I fly into major airports (like JFK), and *especially* for late-night arrivals, I call a car service. It usually ends up to be about $20 more than a taxi, which is a total bargain. The car is clean, they carry your luggage to the car and you don't have to wait in line.

Sometimes, you prepay the trip and tip the driver in cash. Sometimes, it's all taken care of at the destination (like paying a taxi driver.) I've always been able to put it on my credit card, unlike taxi rides.

One big caveat about "wait times." Some car services will wait forever without charging you a dime. Some may charge you $30 for every half hour "wait time." If your plane is delayed, or baggage takes forever, this could be an expensive proposition. Not to mention, some drivers just leave after 30 minutes. I almost had that happen at JFK - the driver for Ozocar (never again. Never, ever again) couldn't reach my cell - and I was stuck in the bowels of JFK with NO cell reception. When he finally did reach me, he informed me that he was ready to leave. Great....

It seems like I'm always getting up super early to hit a client, conference, whatever. I've tried ordering room service when I get up, but invariably, I hear, "I'm sorry, but room service will take at least an hour." Of course, by the time I DO get my food, it's cold, greasy and gross. No good.

Then, I thought I was being smart by putting out my room service door hanger and ordering breakfast that way. Apparently, I was being a travel dumbass. According to the site Women's Travel Tips, hanging out that "breakfast for one" hanger screams "Hey, I'm traveling alone. Come get me!" to slimy dudes and dudettes alike.

Now, I always bring some sort of munchie with me. Plus, I really, really try to get up early and grab breakfast at the restaurant (which is always faster and better.) And thank goodness for Starbucks - they have their new hot breakfast sandwiches (and, of course, endless cups of coffee!). It may not be the best, but at least it's food. And I didn't have to spend $50 for a crappy room service breakfast (are you listening New York Hilton?)

Who woulda thunk it. I learned from a colleague that you can actually turn your cell phone into a vibrator! Vibelet.com will "Instantly turn your cell phone into a discreet vibrating personal 'masseur' - turn your phone's vibrations on at will!"

For just $4.99, that's cheaper than other toys out there! Sadly, it only works on a limited number of cell phone brands - so you may have to switch carriers to get the "full effect." But, hey, it gives a new meaning to the term "sticky keys."

It's been a long, travel-hairy 3 months. I've attended something like 6 conferences within that time - ARGH. That's a lot even for me!

After a wonderful month-long break, I just got back from a HUGE conference in California with about 6,000 of my closest friends. It was all good....until TSA told us that we couldn't bring liquids or gels on the plane with us.

That was painful. Half of my carry on is filled with moisturizers, antibacterial goo, hydrating sprays, hand creams, etc. I have fears of arriving at my destination looking dehydrated and wrinkled! What's a female road warrior to do?

Fortunately, passing through SJC wasn't too hairy - they had made sure that enough TSA folks were there to handle the load and the folks were (actually) friendly! The worst part was standing in line for 30 minutes at Togo's (the only place on the "sterile" side of security) to get some freakin' water.

Be looking for a new design and some more posts. I've seen some new spas, had new (yet odd) experiences and dealt with some interesting...situations....more soon!