Come on the Go!

SeatGuru.com has saved my travel-sore ass more than a few times.

Simply choose your airline and the kind of plane you're flying. Up pops a cool chart showing the really bad seats (like the shitter seats in the very back of the plane near the bathroom) - and the super-premium seats (emergency exit aisle seat, baby!).

The chart also flags seats that may not recline all the way back. Plus - my personal fav - seats that have power outlets. Although "I ran out of laptop juice" works as a great rationalization to do nothing but read Cosmo and eat first class cashews (assuming my upgrade came through.)

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for my latest upgrade - YVR to LHR. I've got a great seat anyway, but a better seat would rock even more....

I just got home from the women-only Olympus day spa in Lynnwood, WA. And damn, am I relaxed!

I've traveled a lot of places. And I've hit a lot of spas. I totally dig Olympus Spa for so many reasons. The funny thing is, I would have never, ever walked in there without some heavy recommendations.

To illustrate: The place is next to a non-defunct Long's Drugs, the Lynnwood Convention Center and a freakin' Chuck E Cheese's. It's strip mall o' rama there, baby - so you don't exactly expect high brow. But friends of mine swore by this place, making the drive all the way to the Tacoma location. So, when I heard that they opened in Lynnwood, I figured it was worth the drive. Even if it is near a Chuck E. Cheese's (OK, I have problems getting beyond that.)

You pay when you walk in, which is much different than what I'm used to. On one hand, it's really nice...there's no irritating services upsell when I'm feeling all relaxed and blissed out ("Would you like a special scent for just $15 extra?" Blech). On the other thing - make sure that you bring cash so you can tip your provider. You can get cash from the spa to tip - but they charge a fairly hefty ATM fee.

Once you pay, you leave your shoes in your designated "slot," change from street clothes into a robe, put on a oh-so-sexy hairnet, and hit the spa. For being in a strip mall, the interior is beautiful. A waterfall cascades into one hot tub (there are 4 total) and the saunas each have their own theme (like the cedar cabin-style log room, and the jade and mud room). Women walk around nude in the hot tub area, which is totally empowering. It's great to see women of all shapes and sizes feeling comfortable walking around naked. I haven't experienced that anywhere else before (for instance, Eden Hill Spa in Nottinghamshire made us wear bathing suits).

You can get in for $30 and stay all day (what a deal!). If you want extra (and what spa chick doesn't want extra,) you can purchase services, too. I love the #2 package, with the Korean Body Scub and Moisturizer. Those women scrub you everwhere (yes, everwhere!), and you come out feeling baby-soft and very relaxed.

Important note to the body-shy: Yes, they do touch your boobs (boobs need exfoliation too!). No, it's not weird or sexual or freaky. You will be way less draped and way more in the open than most places. But it's OK here - again, not weird. If you're looking for the happy ending, you won't find it here!

I don't have any complaints about this place, other than it would be nice if they had something more comfy than the floor to sit on in the special sauna treatment rooms. I guess I could also complain about their massages being only 50 minutes - I kinda feel cheated when I don't get a full hour. But that's it.

I take a day off midweek when I can when it's less crowded and make the trek. For $135 (before tip,) I come feeling incredibly relaxed - and I look like a new woman. If you live near Lynnwood, WA what are you waiting for? Go now! Really, it's way worth it. And since they're open until 10 on weeknights, and midnight on Friday and Saturday, it'ssimple to fit into a road heroine's schedule!

Like many gals, I gotta have my toys when I travel. But get this:

I fly out of a very small, puddle-jumper airport. They don't have such cool things as "luggage xray machines." Nope. There's just one woman, hand-tossing the luggage in front of everyone - and in full view of my fellow passengers. A woman who mutters to herself. A woman that makes you think, "Hmm...something's not quite right about you." A woman who seems to take a long, long time to examine where I put the dildos.

She's pulled them out of the bag (muttering something all the time - who knows what.) while I was standing there. She's closely - very closely - examined them at other times. Yeah, I get she has a job to do. But I've also gotten used to standing tall and proud while my 8-incher is displayed for all to see. "Yes, that's my dildo. And I'm damn proud of it. I am woman, see me beat off."

Seriously, though, there's gotta be a better way. I've stopped bringing my industrial-strength vibrators, just because I felt a little strange about having them displayed for all airline travelers to see. I know it's no big deal. But still, when you're bringing your Rabbit with the extra attachments - and the damn thing is almost as big as you are - people notice.

I've gotten to the point where I pack my toys in a plastic ziplock bag. That way, I don't have to think about the Muttering One touching my stuff (I mean, ick), and it clearly shows what's inside. I know other women who purchase "stealth" vibrators, like the Pocket Rocket, because they're small and more discreet (again, TSA is redefining the toys we bring - how is that good?). Other women are so embarrassed to bring toys that they won't - they buy them on the road, and leave them at the hotel.

How do you travel with toys? Do you have youor own traumatic TSA toys story to share?

So a guy at a coffee shop sits at my table and starts talking to me. Granted, I sorta knew him before - which is why I didn't blow him off. But I should have. Here's why.

Let's call him Mr. Jetsetter. Within 5 minutes of sitting down, he was naming off the various countries he's visited. Japan? Sure. The U.K.? Almost monthly. Italy? Well, of course. He's first-classing it here, and limo-ing there...and I knew he thought that his diatribe was impressing me. I'm sure it worked with other woman.

But if he wanted into my panties, that was so not the right way to do it.

First, I travel just as much (if not more) than him, to an equally number of cool places. But for whatever reason, he wasn't hearing that. I mentioned spending time in Syndey, and I got something like, "yeah, anyway..." before he launched into another dull story. You know the type.

I could handle that. It doesn't turn me on, but I can deal with the "my travel penis is bigger than your travel penis" stuff. What bothered me was his freakin' phone. It kept ringing - and he kept answering it. While sitting. At. My. Table. He didn't excuse himself to leave (even during a 5-minute call.). He didn't turn off his phone. He just kept answering and talking and answering. What the hell was that? I mean, doesn't common courtesy dictate that you leave the table? That is, if you HAVE to answer the phone.

Lemme tell you, I felt damn important, too. Hmm, I can talk to the beautiful blonde woman, or I can answer the phone. Yeah, I'll answer the phone. That'll turn her on. She'll hear how I take command. Yeah. Right.

And you gotta think: if he's this much of a dating dumbass before he even asks me out, what would he be like in 3 months? 6 months?

Yes, he asked. And no - no way would I date him. Not after that.

Oh yeah - we were arguing over what airplanes flew across the Atlantic. I said that I've taken 747's before. He said that 747's don't fly to the U.K.

So, I checked my latest plane ticket. I'm on a BA 747 flight.

Dumbass.

I've talked to many men who have gotten the "happy ending handjob" on the road. I ask you - where are these places for women? OK, granted, it would have to be the right situation in the right place with the right person - but, why not give us the option?

I once read an article (I think it was in Cosmo) about how women were getting more happy endings - and liking it! The in-room hotel massage that goes a little further. The beauty day spa deep tissue that goes a little...deeper. Just like with guys, the stories mostly involve handjobs. I could do that. Going further would be too weird.

And yeah, I know that there are places that specialize in erotic massage. But it would seem so less skanky if it just happened. Or, more accurately, if I pay for it, it shows intent. If it just happens to me, I can kick back and enjoy the fantasy.

I almost had it happen once at a Hilton (a Hilton of all places!). Then the cute, 20-something guy told me that he just got in trouble for it with his boss, and he couldn't do that anyore. Dammit! Then why did you have to tell me? I could have really, really used it back then, too. And I tip really well.

Any female road warriors out there getting the happy ending? Was it good for you - or way too strange?

Hello,

Are you a smart, professional, fearless female who is always on the road? Do you live on sites like SeatGuru and FlyerTalk.com? Do you have your share of on-the-road stories? Join us!

I've wanted to start this blog for 6 months now, but travel (of course) kept getting in the way. Now, I'm back for 2 whole weeks, and I'm giving this blog stuff a shot. Can't wait to start! I've got lots of day spa reviews (lots!), scads of sex chat to dish (natch!), and lots of women's travel tips to share!

So many miles to travel. So many shoes to take. Hope you enjoy the blog!